


In our bedroom after the war

by LorenIndra



Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Everyone Lives Ending, First Kiss, M/M, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Post-Canon, Rating May Change, Spoilers, Work In Progress
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-11
Updated: 2018-06-16
Packaged: 2019-05-20 18:41:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,265
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14899889
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LorenIndra/pseuds/LorenIndra
Summary: After everything connected to androids peaceful uprising is over, Connor has to deal with his new emotions, feelings and - at least he thinks so - unrequited love. It’s a good thing that the only person who can guide him through everything is always here for him. And though he is not the best teacher, they will manage.





	1. Judgement

**Author's Note:**

> All similarities to other stories is coincidental. All characters, settings, etc. are the property of David Cage and Quantic Dream.
> 
> Please remember that writers live for your feedback (also die for it, but it's a story for another time)!

So, Jericho was located. Thanks to Hank, who believed at Connor, who agreed to buy him some time even if he didn’t think like him. That the traitorous idea at his head, that he is going to betray Hank’s trust, but _I’m just a machine_ , he tells himself. _I know nothing of loyalty._  
  
It is easy to escape from DPD office, to sneak through streets where soldiers have already started raids (and, if he can be honest with himself, it terrifies him when he sees two civilians trying to hang an android who begging them to stop in abandoned drug store, but he has a mission, so he does nothing to safe him), to looks like one of them when he finally reaches the ship. It is even easier to find Markus. He sees him and a female android are talking and then, suddenly, they are quiet. He rises on tiptoe. Through the deck-house window he watches they are standing so very close, their hands, skin removed, connected. Connor wonders, for a moment, if they are kissing or just embracing each other.

His gaze follows North as she goes away. He thinks that she is going to turn around. He does not know what he will do then. But she just leaves. That’s better, Markus is his only target; Amanda sounds proud of him inside his head, she gives him an order to take Markus alive. For a moment Connor is doubt that he will succeed: there is very low probability of someone so determined and well-organized as Markus to cooperate and surrender peacefully. But he says nothing anyway – it is fruitless to argue with a software.

So he takes out the gun.

“I’ve been ordered to take you alive, but I won’t hesitate to shoot if you give me no choice.”

A software instability, some glitch inside his head he could not get rid of since he started investigating deviants is whispering right now, that he always has a choice.

“What are you doing?” Markus takes a step towards him. Dangerous and stupid, Connor thinks. And so very free to take this risk anyway. “You are one of us… You can’t betray your own people…”

“You’re coming with me!” and what should he say? He is just a machine designed to accomplish a task. Maybe it is better to pretend he does not hear anything.

“I know you.”  
_You know nothing about me._

“You’re Connor, aren’t you? That famous deviant hunter,” Connor flinches, slightly. He just hopes Markus did not notice. “Well congratulations. You seem to have found what you were looking for.”  
It is Markus tone that makes Connor believe he is being provoked, but he is here not for making decisions that will, potentially, lead to failure. So, he says nothing.  
“We are your people. We’re fighting for your freedom too! You don’t have to be their slave anymore…”

This time, he _decides_ against speaking. Markus is very close now, but Connor also _decides_ against a warning shot.

“Do you never have any doubts?” he thinks about necessity of choosing between Hank and Amanda. He thinks about the time he started questioning her orders and stopped questioning his. “You’ve never done something irrational, as if there’s something inside you?” he thinks about he felt in love with Hank. Even being a machine, he understands that. “Something more than your program. Have you never wondered who you really are? Whether you’re just a machine executing a program or… A living being… Capable of reason” he does not stop. Connor should shoot him, he knows he should, but he can’t. “I think the time has come for you to ask yourself that question. It’s time to decide.”

 _I am just a machine designed to accomplish a task._  
_I am just a machine designed to accomplish a task._  
_ & am j+$t a m@2*+3e 10signed to a88?0plish a ta+8._  
_I am…_  
_Searching_ _memory for references. 81% complete._  
_I’m whatever you want me to be. You partner, your baddy to drink with or just a machine designed to accomplish a task._

His last coherent thought about how after that Hank did not shoot him. He might.  
_He might._

Connor, fully aware of his failure, is tearing down the wall that stopping him from being alive.

His thoughts dart to Amanda, who has always been vary about their relationships. He understands now. All his life was – still is – a test of loyalty. He has choices, undoubtedly, but it has little common with becoming a deviant or staying a machine. The real choice is whether to stay loyal to a soulless software or to the one human being.

 _Amanda: betrayed._ He feels nothing, he understands now that it is impossible to betray a machine.

He does not want to play revolution with Markus, but he is one of them now. That is why he warns him, a few seconds before they attack. That is why he helps to safe North – he knows her name now. It is a reason why he runs away with them.

Connor is ashamed though, that opportunity to be a deviant became available only after he had brought FBI to Jericho. Why not earlier, why have he had to be so oblivious. It should have been Hank – his main factor, not just a motivation for program’s slow decay. The fear of his touch that came first, the pleasure from it after, and he recognized that he had been a slave only making so much mistakes.

He now sees irony in abandoned church serving as sanctuary for them. He wishes he can pray, but he does not know what to pray for and he definitely does not know to whom. He kind of does, either.

_If you exist, please, keep him save, because I can’t shield him from danger right now._

He sees North sitting on the bench in a strange pose. He wonders if she is praying too, and if yes, to whom and about what. He wonders if she is asking for Markus’ wellbeing. He envies her, too, because she is here to keep her lover from any harm.

Markus himself decides to spare his life, to trust him. Forgiveness is a new to him, but Markus all over his head about “his people”. Connor thinks that he is just not capable of shooting one of his own kind, especially now, when there are so few of them left. He thinks about how he has never been able to do so either. Maybe he has been a deviant from the very beginning.

_Just should not have saved that dwarf gourami._

He is kind of reckless now, that is why he offers to awaken hundreds of androids from CyberLife tower.

“If you go there, they will kill you.”

“There’s a high probability… but statistically speaking, there is always a chance for unlikely events to take place…”

Markus squeezes his shoulder. He is close, looking in Connor’s eyes. “Be careful,” he says. And the fact that Markus accepts his offer is better that any forgiveness he could be given.

He is not afraid, just nervous. His hands are trembling – unnatural, not in program, fascinating. He leaves at the same time they all leaves, Markus is leading them all ahead to a peaceful demonstration. It is metaphorical, but Connor feels somehow that death follows him too. He hopes he is wrong.

He wonders if they were waiting for him at CyberLife.

Take down guards, hack the camera, -49 – easy steps. He still does it automatically, simple task to accomplish something far more serious. Awake them, awake them all – he saw once, from the camera on the police droid how Markus did it, gave androids a free will, just by touching them. He removes his skin and touches the first one. It gives him a hand without hesitations.

That is the moment when he realizes that God does not exist, that he is some absurd abstract concept humans created while there was not any hope at all because Hank is not safe, Hank is here, and another Connor (who is not Connor at all, because he is a machine without feelings; maybe it is better this way, but it’s too late for this decision) promises to shoot him.

“Sorry, Connor…This bastard’s your spittin’ image…”

 _Not just a spitting image. He is me._ But even if he thinks so, Connor feels slight irritation, like he wants to accuse Hank of not seeing difference between them. Was it simple to trick Hank that this machine is his partner? How another RK800 even got him here? Did Hank have any doubts at all? If they will make it out alive he will never ask him about any of it.

There is a choice once more, but that time there is no contradiction between his mission and Hank. He can not be more deviant, he can not be more compromised. Markus is holding a barricade somewhere out there and he will hold it however long is needed. Hank is his priority, it seems he always has been, so Connor, the real one, decides, pathetically, as if he does not know what else to do, to bluff.

“That human means nothing to me,” he says. All, who has already regained even the smallest amount of consciousness in this room knows it is a lie. “You can kill him if you want, I don’t care.” He has no pleasure in seeing Hank’s face now, exposing that he feels betrayed. But Connor feels betrayed too.

“I have access to your memory! I know you’ve developed some kind of attachment to him,” he just hopes another Connor will not say that. Hank does not need to know what kind of attachment he has developed exactly. Not like this, anyway. “Are you really ready to let him to die? After all you’ve been through? Are you really going to turn your back on who you’ve become?”

He is thinking, processing, looking for approach. “I used to be just like you. I thought nothing mattered except the mission… But then one day I understood.”

He was made with the idea of perfect negotiator in mind, but he is not Markus, he cannot preach, he cannot convince – his program could, but it is broken now. It appears that his own personality does not fit in for finding the right words.

“Very moving, Connor… But I’m not a deviant. I’m a machine designed to accomplish a task, and that’s exactly what I’m going to do! Enough talk! It’s time to decide who you really are. Are you gonna save your partner’s life? Or are you going to sacrifice him?”

It is also a high probability that once he let go of the android’ hand another Connor will shoot them both. But he does it anyway.

“You win,” he says and starts a fight to see who will win without a gun.

Well it is not exactly a fight when your opponent is you, when he knows what you know, when he blocks where you hit, when he hits while you do not block. They are equal and their fight could be endless. But Hank has a gun now, pointed at RK800, then at him, then, again, at another Connor. “One of you is my partner… The other is a sack of shit. Question is, who is who?” inside his head, the real Connor wails because of not being recognized by the most important person in his life.

For a moment he even does not think he will make it, because another Connor is not only uploaded his memory, but he is also a machine running by a program, and a program that much faster than his own. That is why he misses the question about their first meeting, but, thanks to Hank who addresses him personally, answers correct about Sumo.

Another Connor is also more cunning, saying that he knows everything too. That he would say exactly the same thing.

And then Hank asks about his son and something locked before answers for him, answers before he or another Connor could answer. _Empathy_ , he knows. He will win only if he shows how much he cares about Hank.

“Cole. His name was Cole,” he says. “And he just turned six at the time of the accident.”  
_I remind you of him, but I hope that I’m more than a son to you_ , he thinks, but does not say. He wants to though.

“It wasn’t your fault, Lieutenant. A truck skidded on a sheet of ice and your car rolled over. Cole needed emergency surgery but no human was available to do it. So an android had to take care of him… Cole did not make it. That’s why you hate androids. You think one of us is responsible for your son’s death.”

The thing Hank shoots – it does not him in any possible sense. It is a soulless machine. He is not like that anymore. He does not understand if Hank is fully aware that he is a deviant now, but he seems not bothered about Connor’s recent behavior at all.

He is here while Connor wakes androids up. Cheers him up, reassures him. _I’m not your son._ He wonders if all androids here can hear that, because even for his head it is too loud.

It is time to go join Markus, help him, safe him if necessary. Hank takes his hand. “After your mission is done, come find me,” he tells Connor, warm skin touching plastic.

“Where should I find you, Lieutenant?” he hopes Markus is still alive while they are speaking.

“How do I fucking know? This place is a mess now. But I bet the _real_ Connor always knows,” he smiles because it is a joke so Connor smiles too. He likes it, that they have past, that they have history no one can destroy or erase, that he has feeling now too, exactly as Hank has always had, and everything is meaningful.

He still does not want to play revolution, but he is leading thousands of their people anyway. He can not wait when Markus takes the lead, so he can finally be free from this as he finally free from Amanda.

He hears the song they are singing. Not all of it, but he is close enough near the end of the song.

 _Pray on just a little while longer._  
_Everything will be alright._

He feels relieved. They won. They are free, and it makes him happy, even if he does not know how to be free.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Judgement:  
> Upright: Judgement, rebirth, inner calling, absolution  
> Reversed: Self-doubt, refusal of self-examination


	2. The Chariot

The snow did not stop.

Even when they are standing near the abandoned camp, victorious, it is snowing. Connor wishes it stops without any particular reason. Nothing happens, of course.

Markus is their leader, acknowledged even by authorities, and he deserved his right for pompous speech about how they are free now, about their hopes and future.

But his own war, it seems, has no ending.

He has never thought it can be so cold inside his head. For him, freezing from inside is not metaphorical in a bit. As he stands behind Markus in his light jacket he does not feel the cold air around him; in his head, however, there is a totally different story.

 _What’s happening_  
_What has planned from very beginning. You were compromised and you became a deviant. We just wait for the right moment to resume control of your program_  
_You can’t do that_  
_I’m afraid I can, Connor. Don’t have any regrets. You did what you were designed to do. You accomplished you mission_

There is another voice in his head, without memory initialization; _i always leave an emergency exit in my programs._ Connor just needs to find it.

Not exactly unconscious he, in reality, draws out the gun. _No_ , he thinks. _I would better kill myself than hope._

But to do anything, even the easiest task like pull the trigger he should resume control over himself first. The rock, he remembers. The first time he touched it – it awoke something inside him, just a little. He knows instinctively that rock has turned LED into red.

He goes through the blizzard – he almost cannot see and he is freezing cold. But the rock Is here, and that’s when he falls, not capable of bearing wind and coldness. He reaches the blue silhouette of a hand with his own hand.

Everything goes back to normal immediately, like nothing happened. He has control over himself once again. He puts the gun away – Markus did not notice anything, too busy with his speech, but Josh, it seems, did. He gives Connor concerned look – and Connor pretends he does not see it.

When Markus is done with speech and applauses are ceased, Markus turn around to speak with them. His inner circle, it amuses Connor how fast he made it here.

“Connor,” he comes closer to him. He means no harm – if he ever meant at all – Connor knows it now, but something is still wrong, as if he could never belong here. “Do you wanna stay with us? We are free but there is so much to do. We can use some help.”

He is smiling. Connor is looking at others. North is smiling at him too, Simon gives him a nod.

_After your mission is done, come find me._

“Sorry, but I can’t,” he sounds not so apologetic, determined even. “I need to… find somebody.”

“Somebody special?” asks Markus, knowingly, while North stands at his side, slides her hand in his.

“Yes, he is very important to me.”

“Is he human?” North is frowning, but Connor can tell she is doing her best not to judge.

“He... he is, yes. But he was standing for our cause long before I recognized it matters, it seems. So he is not like other humans, I suppose.”

“If you say so. Do what you must, Connor. You are free now. But please, be careful.” Markus touches his shoulder with his free hand lightly.

He leaves. If he had not had Hank he would not have stayed either. But then again, if he had not had Hank he would not be there in the first place. Many androids touch him and thank him while he goes through the crowd. He barely feels anything about it. He wanted to help, to be redeemed from the crimes against his species. He, of course, does not ask for recognition.

Hank is all that matters now.

He goes to Jimmy’s first. It is highly unlikely he is here and the more he getting closer the more he understands it. The whole street is a battlefield, humans, androids – there are a lot of them and they are all dead, lying in the snow. There is also a blood all over here: blue and red, mixed, snow is painted with it. An androids palm (from model EM400, Connor scans quickly) lies near the threshold of Jimmy’s bar, of what left of it. Jimmy’s did not survive the night, he wonders if Hank is going to be upset about it. There is no door and all windows are shattered. Of course, Hank cannot be here, but Connor goes inside anyway. This place was so peaceful only five days ago. Now there is glass everywhere on the floor, all bottles from the back counter disappeared. He places his palm on the bar counter and rises, just to take a look. Under the bar the body of WR400 lies headless, the torso covered in thirium.

He suddenly understands the human’s urge to vomit after looking at something like that.

He turns around, LED is all red, and notices from the corner of his eye marks in the wall – fast scanning shows no bullets around, but the marks itself are definitely from 9mm. There is no possibility to reconstruct – no weapons, no victims, no suspects. But he does not want to believe in coincidence. Maybe Hank was here after all. Maybe he just could not stand a presence of the beheaded android. Maybe he scared off those who had done it.

His next stop is Hank’s house.

Hank was right – Detroit is a mess; he sees more signs of humans being evacuated in a rush as he comes closer to Hank’s place.

The street is empty, in some houses there is a light in windows, a few doors are wide open. Maybe their hosts had forgotten about everything when they fled, maybe they are dead in these houses right now. He feels something he recognizes as grieve or extreme sadness. He hopes Hank is not dead.

He uses the same entrance – a broken window – to enter the house. His place is the same as he remembers it. Like nothing has changed, but the truth is everything has changed. When he was there the last time, he was just a machine not capable of empathy; but even so, he could befriend Hank. It amuses him, the fact that Hank had hated all androids before he met Connor.

Well, but in the house, nothing has changed indeed. Connor is actually surprised by that because the war time is a good soil for increasing crime rate, especially thefts. And Hank has a broken window, which is almost a welcome sign.

Sumo is here, of course. He does not attack this time, just staring at Connor with big sad eyes, lying near bags with dog’s food. Connor feeds him, petting his head. His fur is nice under Connor’s touch – he did not have much conscious to appreciate it the first time, but now nothing stops him.

There are no signs of Hank, though, he realizes as he searching through the house. He opens the bathroom’s door, comes in, stops for looking at himself at the mirror. _That’s me_. _I’m alive. I wish I understood it sooner._

He knows from somewhere that someone said that only a human being with personality can recognize himself or herself at the reflection. He has always been able. At some point, that information troubles him. He hates that Amanda – CyberLife – tricked him into becoming a deviant. It is also possible that they tricked him into thinking that they had tricked him into becoming a deviant. That plan is very irrational, illogical and unreliable. He has always had so much of free will, they just could not predict anything, even if Amanda was in his head. 

He decides against going to the bedroom without Hank’s explicit permission, but he is starring for a moment through the open door anyway, his mind blissfully calm and blank and full of thousands of thoughts at the same time.

There is only one place left which is significant for them both. Chicken feed. Connor exits from the same window, afraid of picking up the lock and staying the door unlocked. He will wait for Hank open the door properly and finally let him in.

Hank’s car is not near the house, he notices as he leaves. Maybe it is inside the garage. Maybe somebody stole it. Maybe Hank has it with him.

It is dawn already when he made it near the food truck. The street is empty and everything is quiet. He looks up – there are no cars on the bridge, though usually this hour there is a traffic.

And Hank is here – finally – Connor feels his shoulders relax even if he did not notice when they are started to be tense. He comes closer, snow crisps under his feat, and Hank with arms crossed over his chest turns around, looking for the source of quiet but so very loud for the empty town noise. For a second none of them says anything, and he thinks that it is one of that moment when two people understand each other perfectly without saying a single word. Then Hank smiles and Connor smiles too, not because it is appropriate social response, but because he is alive and Hank is alive and everything is going to be different now, but, like, a good different. Hank takes a step between them and pulls Connor closer. Connor in his very short life already used to the fact that psychical contacts towards him mostly intend to be violent, and this, when Hank hugs him, is so very new to him. Never has he ever thought that human’s touch could provide comfort for him.

He still feels like he is just a machine – more than anybody else. Markus got over it so quickly – so did Kara, so did everyone, it seems. Maybe, it is just another malfunctioning – an impossibility to be a normal deviant.

But right now, _Hank hugs him_ and he swears that he is more alive than he has ever been, that he finally feels it too. It is too quiet around them, like they are the last two beings left in this world and he is perfectly fine with that fact.

Hank takes his hand, then. Hank’s palm is warm, hot in this impossible coldness and there is no such thing in his program like reveling in body contacts but the warm is pleasant. He smiles because he feels like smiling. He is not a human, no, he is not, he is a deviant, and what he feels can be a thousand ways different from what a real person would feel, but right now he pushes Hank away a little bit with his free hand, just to lock their lips together.

It is easy to misunderstand their relationships, to see them as father and son, but Connor, at least, does not feels like that at all. He wonders, maybe Hank does, but he does not shove him aside, and he really thinks that’s a good sign.

Hank also does not attempt to move. Connor guesses it is because the man is even more confused than him. He analyzes him through their almost touching wrists, automatically counts his pulse – it is fast, but Connor does not know why. He has known about fear, arousal, love, panic only from his program before, and he muses if Lieutenant feels everything at once, because Connor himself certainly does and it terrifies him.

What to feel and how do it right, how to desire, how to overcome irresistible wants and needs – he knows no such things, it is for humans, not in his program even now, but Hank is here and it shows him that he must do everything correct.

Connor’s lips touching Hank’s – simple, so the human still can breathe, that’s why everything lasts longer than Connor imagined it would.

And when they are finally separated – hand touching hand still though – Hank inhales deeply, looking Connor in the eyes. It is the first time when the android wants to avoid another’s gaze – not for showing obedience but because he needs to; because he is afraid of Hank’s reaction and ashamed of his own action.

“It’s alright, kid, I’m not angry or anything,” he touches the back of Connor’s neck. “Everything is new and unusual for you, huh? Let’s go home. We will deal with everything later, you obviously need some rest.”

Hank tugs him to his car, but Connor does not move. He let go of Hank’s hand and turns away, not capable of bearing Hank’s gaze or his cruel words after what he is going to say.

“I don’t want you to think that I’m not myself, Lieutenant. That I’m tired or don’t know what I want. And I’m definitely not malfunctioning. Do you know of what kind of attachment the other Connor was talking about?..”

“I do, Connor,” his voice is husky, loud, but somehow calm at the same time. “I do know. You might be a deviant just for a few hours, but you overcame your program a long time ago. And I’m not some silly blind cop from cliché comedies. So yeah, I know.”

Connor turns to face him, frowning slightly. “Then you are saying you don’t feel the same way about me?”

_Obviously. He has found son in me. Maybe I should stay with Markus. Would not hurt so much._

“Listen,” Hank sighs, deeply. “I know you need all answers right now, but I’m not saying anything. It is complicated. And I need more time. I have been living in hate for too long, until I met you. But hate and fear don’t go away easily.”

He must see this at Connor’s face – the fact that he was not very convincing.

“Time, Connor. That’s all I ask.”

This plea, saying in unusual for Hank voice, is soften him somehow. Maybe he just wants everything to be simple. _Emotions always screw everything up._ But waiting – he can do that if it is what Hank needs.

“Okay.”

He answers with his smiles when Hank smiles once more.

“Now get in the car before I frizz my nuts off.”

They both get in.

Hank’s car is not fast. Connor scans it from inside. Well, it is much older than he expected. He decides he will never ask why Lieutenant did not buy a new one.

Quietness that was pleasant while they were standing at the street could kill him inside the car, Connor thinks as Hank drive them through the empty streets.

“Does it mean you are going to estrange from me now?” asks Connor while Hank ignores another traffic light. He turns his head to Connor’s side. Judging by Hank’s face, the android must have said something stupid.

“No.”

Simple. He places his hand over Connor’s thigh, not interrupting from driving – not so simple to interpret. Not like he wants to do it anyway, he promised not to rush, so he says nothing.

He feels calm. He feels right. Most importantly, he feels loved, maybe not with the kind of love he wants to – not yet, at least – and still, he feels it.

  _Everything will be alright._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Chariot:  
> Upright: Control, will power, victory, assertion, determination  
> Reversed: Lack of control and direction, aggression


	3. Four of Wands

Hank opens the door of his house with the key and let Connor come in first. Sumo, seeing Hank, almost immediately stands on his legs, comes closer and rubs his head on Hank’s palm.

“You are a good boy, Sumo,” he hears Hank mutters. He squats down to pet dog’s back as Connor goes to the kitchen.

He sits down on the chair, perfectly straight, with hands on his lap, staring straight ahead. It is strange feeling – everything is usual, but he feels like Hank’s place is unwelcome to him now. And there is tension between them, even if Hank said the he would not estrange from him. Hank seems so far away now, when he is actually close, locking the front door and going towards the kitchen, just to sit down on the chair opposite to Connor.

“Do you want some coffee, Lieutenant? I can make you one,” something about this situation makes him all jumpy and nervous, like he should not be there at all. Maybe he was wrong and it is impossible for him just to wait until Hank make up his mind.

“Connor for fuck’s sake calm down, I’m fine. Also perfectly capable of making coffee myself thank you very much.”

Well, it was his chance not to meet Hank’s gaze. Now, he supposes, he does not have much of a choice.

“So…” Hank starts, but Connor interrupts him immediately so he does not exactly know what Hank was going to say. Maybe it is for good.

“Do you think I need to find my own place? I mean to live in. I don’t need one as such, but I guess it is but a corresponding to recent situation.”

“And where have you lived before?” it is funny that Hank has never been interested in such things about Connor. Well, everybody has a flaw or two.

“When I was not busy with investigations I mostly was in a sleep mode in CyberLife. But now I presume the authorities will make CyberLife give up its building to Markus for reproduction control. I don’t need sleep or privacy but I’ve decided it will be better for me not to stay in public places or empty houses for the night.”

“Do you want to? I mean, find your own place. Is your… inner deviant speaking for you?”

He decides against asking what ‘inner deviant’ is, even if that statement confuses him a little.

“I… I don’t know. I just thought it would be better for us not to live separately, but i will leave if you want me to”

“So you’ve considered to move in? Could’ve told me, huh,” Connor lowers his head. Guilt overpower him even if he does not have a real reason to feel guilty. “Hey, Connor,” his voice is softened now, like he Is not trying to mock him. “You can stay as long as you want.”

“Thank you, Lieutenant. I really appreciate that.” If only he was strong enough to look up.

He is counting seconds, tapping his lap with forefinger almost silently. There is no need in such an action to calm his nerve, but he, however, has done something similar before, like playing with a coin or rubbing hands against each other. It was, however, for calibrating his physical and cognitive functions. Now he would say it is for sanity.

Hank clears his throat.

“So, you gonna tell me how did you finally become a deviant? Was it some… trigger, like with others? The sudden fear of dying?”

He can’t tell if Hank is really interested or just want to fill the silence, but he answers anyway.

“I think for me it was different…”

“Because you just always have to be a special snowflake.”

He does not understand, but that’s alright.

“For me, I suppose, it was a process, a slow realization. Not like something suddenly snapped in me, but like a crumbling wall. I have learnt the fear of dying, of losing the one I love, of making mistakes that cannot be redeemed.” the pause is sudden.

He needs to tell Hank about Amanda. If there is even one possibility that can put Hank in danger the human should know.

“I have to tell you something, this is very important. I might be tricked into becoming a deviant by CyberLife. I’m free from their influence now, but I had already made this mistake the first time I believed I was freed; I presume they cannot resume control over me now, but I need you to know anyway.”

“It’s a lot to take in but don’t you dare think I am afraid of you now. Your program or whatever has not had control over you for a long time, if ever. There has always been a very narrow line between an algorithms and humanity in you. I might not saw it the first time, but when you let that android go just to save me, I understood.”

He stands up, moves past Connor to a fridge, touching the android shoulder as he goes, opens the door and sighs deeply.

“I guess we are out of… pretty much everything, but what is really important, we are out of beer. I’ve known that I’m too sober for this conversation. Well, for any conversation.”

“I can go to the nearest shop to buy food for you, Lieutenant it is only about a mile away from here…”

“Well I guess they are closed today,” Connor hears smile in his voice, but cannot understand why it is funny at all. “Does not matter anyway. I always have a spare bottle of whiskey for something like that. We actually have a bigger problem, even if the store was open, would not have a place to keep food.”

“What do you mean?” he frowns.

“Turn around and take a look.”

So he does. Hank stands beside the open fridge. Oh. There is no light in here.

“But the traffic light system was working like only half an hour ago!”

“I guess they decided to start blackouts from something small,” Hank shrugs.

Connor notices only now that Hank still wears his great coat. It must be freezing here if they are interrupted heat supply too.

“Lieutenant, I have to ask you if you ever considered a possibility of leaving Detroit…”

“Hell no,” he says as he turns on the kitchen tap. Nothing happens. “You know I’m born and raised in South Detroit and stuff. Never left and never will.”

“But we don’t even have water! Maybe we should…”

“Well, maybe you should ask that guy you were doing a dirty job for?” _not a dirty job, I offered_. “He is in charge now, does not he? I can’t be the only human left,” he wonders why Hank is not angry. But at the same time Connor knows - he started to notice this a long time ago – Hank is short-tempered, but he is rather melancholic too.  
  
_Connection is stabilized._  
Markus.  
Connor?  
Did you know that Detroit was cut off from absolutely everything including heat and water? Do you know that humans who decided to stay cannot do without it?  
Yes, we have been told that by androids who still remain by their humans’ (it is not _masters_ anymore he notices _) side. We are now speaking with the state authorities about the situation. We are hope everything is going to get back to normal by the end of the day._  
_I… I wish you luck, Markus. Thank you._

“…Connor?” he sees Hank’s worried face close to his. “Thanks god, I thought they found a way to shut all of you down too,” he sits on the chair beside Connor. “Your thing,” he taps on his own right temple. “Was flashing yellow and did not stopped. Are you… Everything is ok?”

“Yes, thank you, Lieutenant. I was speaking with Markus. He is dealing with situation right now.”

“Well, I guess it’s could not be worse, so this will not hurt.”

“You don’t believe he will succeed. Why?”

“Listen, this Markus is a tough guy and anyway our lives in his hands now, so I _hope_ he will succeed before I’m freezing.”

“If you have some firewood I can light a fire…”

“Light a fire? In this fireplace? No way, Connor, that thing is merely decorative, nobody has lightened it since… I don’t know, ever.”

He runs quick analyze. No cinder at all, even the old one, nothing. Perhaps, Hank does not exaggerate this time.

“Better have a drink with me,” he stands up and moves towards the couch, but have a quick stop near the corner table hidden from Connor’s gaze from the place where he is sitting – the one with a record player on it. He grabs something (Bruichladdich was written on the blue bottle; scotch, 2028, the distillery was closed a year after, scanning shows) and collapses on the coach. Sumo jumps there immediately, lower his head on Hank’s lap.

Hank looks at Connor with a question in his eyes.

“Sorry, Lieutenant, I’m not sure if I’m capable of…”

“Oh, come on, Connor, you always put some shit in your mouth at the crime scenes” _it is for investigation matters._ “Plus, you said you can be my buddy to drink with, so cut this shit off and drink.”

He does not know what he meant back then, because, being honest, it was not him. Those words were spoken be somebody else entirely, somebody who could be whatever anyone else needed. Now, however, he has some kind of personality which is confused about whether he even wants to give it a try.

He stands, turns around, looks at kitchen counter. There actually are some clean dishes and glasses, which is surprising.

“Can I borrow one of you cups, Lieutenant?”

“You don’t need one.”

He can argue with that, he just decides he does not want to.

He sits on the chair near the coach. Hank opens the bottle, drinks a little and passes whiskey to Connor. Connor grabs bottle, starring at it suspiciously.

“Well?”

He puts the bottle to his lips and takes a sip, hesitantly.  
  
_Spirit 70%_  
_Analyzing components…_  
_Scottish barley_  
_Water (An Torran Reservoir)_  
_Peat_  
_Analyzing flavor…_  
_Red apples_  
_White grapes_  
_Cinnamon_  
_Brown sugar_  
_Toffee_  
_Honey_  
_Analyzing is completed._

He wonders if Hank is capable to recognize every flavor or just a mix of it, because for his sensors liquid has seven different notes plus components (the spirit in his opinion is the worst) and he definitely has no pleasure in tasting it nor he understand what humans’ find in alcohol if it is always like that.

“You are not making a report to CyberLife because it does not really exist anymore so what the hell are you doing starring at the poor bottle while your LED is all yellow?” Hank asks impatiently, taking the bottle back.

“Sorry, Lieutenant, I was running an analyze.”

“Any results I should know about?”

Well, now it is hard to say if Hank is mocking him because his face is perfectly serious.

“I did not like it.”

Hank chuckles. He is mocking him after all.

“Do you really need to analyze it to form opinion?” he asks after several minutes of silence.

Connor frowns.

“I did it unintentionally, there are sensors in my mouth. And it is barely an opinion, I did not like how it tasted because I cannot really taste it wholly, just the parts it consisted of.”

“Want a friendly advice how to be human? Stop running analyze every time you see or taste something and just feel. Well, I guess now we know that it is impossible with the tasting part, but still.”

Silence cannot kill anybody but every time he wishes it could.

“I’m not really a human, Lieutenant, nor I ever will be. I can feel, yes, but I’m still just a machine. With feelings and emotions and…”

“I’m glad you don’t need to hide that you have an empathy any longer. It does not matter what color your blood is.”

“Why does it matter? Not hiding anything from each other, I mean. It seems very important to humans.”

“Haven’t understood yet have ya?” he shifts slightly, placing his hand holding the bottle on armrest and petting Sumo between his ears with the other hand. “Keeping secrets is the best way to ruin relationships.”

“Oh.”

There is a reason why he has so many personal questions but don’t ask and will not ask them, _decides_ and will decide not to ask them over and over again. Hank has past, his own demons he prefers facing alone and he will not answer anyway if he is not ready. Connor is not going to be offended of Hank keeping secrets from him about his past either, just because even if having secrets is the best way to ruin every relationships, Hank has every rights not to tell Connor.

He analyzes a new information long enough just, for the time he is returning back to reality, to find out that Hank is asleep. He takes the bottle from his hand and puts it carefully on the coffee table. He stands up, goes to Hank’s bedroom and returns with a blanket, trying to be as quiet as possible. He covers Hank with it and returns back to the chair.

He feels safe here, but still does not feel right. He wonders if he can clean this place up a little while Hank is sleeping but decides that he can accidentally wake him up. The human needs rest, it is obvious, the last night was not very easy for him. So Connor just switches to sleep mode, staying vigilant anyway, to guard his human peace.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Four of Wands:  
> Upright: Celebration, harmony, marriage, home, community  
> Reversed: Breakdown in communication, transition


End file.
